


Absolution

by imamaryanne



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 18:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamaryanne/pseuds/imamaryanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cory gets a surprise phone call on his 30th birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

**Author's Note:**

> I'm slowly moving all my works from various far-flung LJ communities to here. This particular story was written a couple years ago for oncethrown's birthday.

On the morning of Cory's thirtieth birthday, he and Shawn were sitting in their kitchen quietly eating breakfast. Shawn, absorbed in a novel, was munching on toast and Cory was trying to figure out the maze on the back of the Trix box. The four dogs were shuffling around the periphery of the table, eying the floor for any fallen cereal or toast. The dogs were courtesy of Shawn, who was unable to see any orphaned needy animal without bringing it home. They also had three cats for the same reason.

Cory's birthdays were always low key events- because he insisted on it. He hated his birthday ever since his twenty-first had been marred by his sudden separation from Topanga and his twenty-second by the finality of their divorce. He had only himself to blame, he knew. And that was part of why he hated celebrating his birthday, because it brought up these memories of the worst thing he'd ever done, proof that he wasn't Mr. All-American son and husband. He was human, and a deeply flawed one at that.

Shawn sighed and turned the page, "This book sucks. I can't believe it was published."

"You could write better," Cory told him.

Shawn shrugged. Cory knew Shawn wanted to write, but lacked the confidence and feared rejection far too much to actually sit down and create something. Shawn did write for a living, but it was technical writing. He wrote analyses of real estate markets for a housing journal. Cory knew that this type of writing was wearing Shawn down, and eventually he'd have to snap and start creating something of his own.

"You going in to work today?" Shawn asked.

Cory shook his head, "Dad gave me the day off." Cory, in a surprising move about seven years ago, went into business with his father at the outdoors store. Everyone thought it would be Eric who’d do that, but that didn't happen, as Eric quickly found work after college as a station manager for a local Philadelphia radio station. Cory, realizing his father loved the store and desperately needed help with it, stepped in. It wasn't work he loved, but it was steady, and he proved to be good at it. Between his and Shawn's salary, they were able to afford a house in the same neighborhood as his parents with plenty of room for them and the dogs.

"What do you want to do?" Shawn asked.

Cory shrugged. "Maybe take them to the dog park," he waved his hand toward the dogs. Little Shawnie, their oldest dog, a scrawny tawny twelve year old mutt, looked up ears perked. He knew the words dog park.

"Nothing else? Nothing special for you birthday? The big three-oh?"

Cory gave Shawn a look. "Please don't make a big deal over my birthday. It's just another day."

Shawn opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the phone ringing. Shawn stood up and answered. "Hello?" A pause and his eyes grew wide, mouth dropping open in surprise. Cory looked at him with concern. "I'm good. How've you been?... Yeah, he's here...You want to talk to him? OK.....yeah, you too."

Shawn held the phone out to Cory, who was looking perplexed. "It's Topanga," he whispered.

"Topanga?" Cory said incredulously. He hadn't spoken to Topanga since his twenty-first birthday; when she left the apartment with a cold "How could you?" She never talked to them again. Not for a lack of trying on Cory's part. He wanted to talk to her, help her understand. But she refused all communication that didn’t go through her lawyer. And how could he say what he needed to say through a lawyer?

"Hello?" Cory asked into the phone. He was nervous.

"Cory?" Topanga said. Cory thought she sounded at least as nervous as he was.

"Topanga. Hi."

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

"Oh! Well. Thanks."

"Do you have any plans?"

"I don't..... No. I don't. I'm not a fan of my birthday."

"Yeah," Topanga said, voice full of regret. "I'm not a fan of your birthday either." Topanga remembered Cory's twenty-first all too well. Everyone was supposed to meet at a bar at seven. She was going to be late because she had a class that didn’t get out until eight. In a move very unlike her, Topanga had decided to skip class and meet Cory at the apartment so they could leave for the bar together. They'd seemed to be traveling in two different orbits since getting married, and Topanga was determined to do something to make it work. She figured a quickie before hitting the bar would be a great start to the night.

Instead she walked into her and Cory’s room and saw her husband naked and bent over their marital bed with Shawn naked behind him. In all her life, Topanga would never forget the things her eyes took in, the smallest details burning an imprint in her retinas. The way Shawn's hand lay gently on Cory's hip, Cory’s white-knuckled grip on the quilt, the way he bit his lip in pleasure, the relaxed smile on Shawn’s face, the bottle of lube on her bedside table, the sight of two pairs of boxer shorts tossed carelessly to the floor.

She'd gasped, feet glued to the floor. Cory and Shawn looked up and stopped immediately. Shawn pulled himself out of Cory, his lubed penis making a sick slurping noise as it was yanked out.

"How long...?" Topanga asked in a whisper after a moment’s pause when all three had deer in the headlights eyes.

Shawn turned his back and pulled his boxers on. He’d always known he was an interloper in this relationship, and he felt the shame of it now more than ever before.

"Topanga... Cory started. "It's..." he faltered, seeing her face. It’s not what you think wasn’t going to work here, because it is exactly what she thought. There was no use lying anymore. Cory had known he wasn't going to get away with this forever and his time had come. "About a year." He finally admitted.

"A year."

Cory nodded, and slowly reached down for his own boxers. Shawn, standing slightly hunched trying to cover the fact that he was still erect, tried hard to blend in with the wall.

"We’ve only been married for two," Topanga pointed out. "Not even two yet." She started crying, hard. The kind of crying where your nose runs and you can’t catch your breath. She tried to inhale, but couldn’t, and she exhaled in short jagged breaths. It was painful, seeing the way she could cry.

Cory grabbed a chair from the nearby dining room table and had Topanga sit down. He threw the rest of his clothes on and squatted in front of her, resting his forehead on her knee. "I never wanted you to find out like this."

Through tears, Topanga said quietly "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Cory and Shawn glanced at each other. Yes, they were going to tell Topanga. But they had this whole stupid plan about waiting until after graduation. Because, Cory did love Topanga. Even though their time in bed did nothing but tell him that she wasn’t really the one he wanted. And Cory wanted to try to protect her and tell her gently and apologize and he wanted to wait until after graduation so she wouldn’t get distracted and ruin her precious 4.0 GPA she’d worked so hard for. It was a plan Shawn had agreed to. Neither of them had ever wanted her to see that.

"Yes," Cory said softly. "We were going to tell you after graduation."

"I thought you loved me." She started crying again and looked up at Shawn, "I thought we were friends."

Neither Cory nor Shawn said anything for a moment. They were collecting their thoughts. Topanga took their silence to mean that they had answers for her that she wouldn’t like. She ran to her closet and grabbed a bag, throwing in a handful of clothes. She grabbed her textbooks and some toiletries, threw them into the bag. When she got to the front door, she turned and saw Cory and Shawn standing there, like they always stood. Shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. God, why hadn’t she noticed it before? That they were nearly always in physical contact, much moreso than two straight best friends ever should be.

"How could you?" She turned the knob and walked out.

The next few days were a whirlwind. Topanga wasted no time in filing for legal separation. No marriage meant no marriage dorm, which left Cory homeless. He moved in to the apartment that Shawn still shared with Eric. (Which wasn’t too bad, Eric seemed to be the only one who was unsurprised by, and completely supportive of, Cory and Shawn’s relationship). Topanga moved back to her Aunt’s house.

Topanga had called Cory’s parents and told them what happened. They sided with Topanga, of course. The next year was the worst of Cory’s life. Topanga desperately wanted a fight over their meager possessions, but Cory was happy to let her take whatever her lawyers demanded, not even bothering to retain legal counsel of his own. He figured he owed her that much. He couldn’t even get mad at her over telling his parents, even though it meant that they spent nearly a year not speaking to him. As much as that separation from his parents hurt, Cory felt he deserved it. He accepted his punishment without argument as a form of self-flagellation.

Shawn didn’t think Cory owed Topanga that much. And he’d get hopping mad every time Topanga would insist on keeping the television, or the ancient car, or all the money in the small savings account since they were planning on using it for her to go to law school anyway, and he was furious that Topanga had told Amy and Alan, insisting that was something Cory should have done. But whenever Shawn would speak his mind about it, Cory would shut him out. So Shawn just learned that when it came to anything Topanga-related, he’d have to keep his mouth shut.

Eventually, on the day of Cory’s twenty-second birthday, the divorce was finalized. And Amy and Alan, realizing that what was done was done, decided that they couldn’t keep up being angry at their second-born. He’d made a mistake, sure, but were they going to hold it over his head for the rest of their lives? They didn’t want Cory to think they were mad at him for being gay, because that wasn’t it. It was that he lied to and he cheated on Topanga. Topanga, who they’d learned to love like a daughter. Though in the year, they also realized that they’d always loved Shawn like a son. It took a while, but once Cory decided to go in to the business with Alan, their relationship was quick to mend itself.

Over time, Cory had learned to let go of some of the guilt about his marriage to Topanga, but he was never able to absolve himself completely. He always wondered what she was up to, but after graduation, she disappeared, no longer talking to anyone from the old gang anymore, not even Angela. And that’s why it was such a surprise to hear from her eight years later.

"So!" she said in a falsely bright voice. "You aren’t doing anything?"

"No. You already asked that." Cory paused. "Topanga, why are you calling?"

"I wanted to let you know that I’m getting married."

"Topanga! That’s great. Really. Congratulations." Cory was genuinely happy for her, but still a little perplexed about why she was calling him about this.

"I just wanted to let you know..." Topanga trailed off. Cory could hear the hesitation in her voice.

"I’ve wanted to say so many things to you," Cory admitted. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shawn watching him carefully. Cory continued, "I never wanted things to end like they did. I shouldn’t have started up with Shawn while we were still married."

Topanga cut him off. "But you still would have left me for him."

"Yes," Cory admitted. "I would have. But I should have talked to you about it, not cheated on you. All I’ve wanted for these last nine years is to tell you how sorry I am. And now I have the chance and I don’t really know what to say. I don’t think there are words that exist for how much I hate what I did to you."

"Cory," Topanga cut him off again. "That’s why I’m calling."

"Why?"

"To tell you it’s OK."

"What?"

"It’s just that I met my fiancé. And I’ve been with him for four years now and when I’m with him...well, no offense, but I realize what a good healthy relationship is. I kind of realize that what we had wasn’t working on so many levels, not just the whole you’re gay thing. But it just wasn’t the best relationship and we were so immature."

Cory remained silent. He actually thought they’d had a pretty good relationship, you know, other than the fact that he had no interest in Topanga sexually.

"So Sam, my fiancé, he knows all about my first marriage and why it ended. And I told him the other night that even though I thought the world was ending when I left you, that it turned out to be the best thing ever for me. Because I met Sam. And I just was overcome with this feeling of peace, you know? That our separation and divorce, it all happened for a good reason. You were meant to be with Shawn and I’m meant to be with Sam."

"So, you’re not mad?"

"Not even a little bit. Not any more."

"Does Sam know you’re calling me?"

"It was his idea. He thought you might need to hear me absolve you of any left over guilt."

"Yeah," Cory was nodding his head even though she couldn’t see that over the phone. "I really did."

Cory and Topanga talked for a few more minutes, about what they have been up to. Topanga was surprised that Cory worked with his father and was disappointed that Shawn hasn’t been writing. Cory was impressed that Topanga, did, in fact go to law school at Georgetown and became a lawyer. She even met Sam at a Bar Association conference, and they lived together in Washington, DC. The longer they talked, the more Cory became aware of the fact that he was feeling a lightness in his shoulders, as though a giant weight had been lifted from them.

Cory and Topanga said their good-byes after exchanging email addresses and promising to keep in touch.

Cory hung up the phone and stood there quietly for a moment, staring at the wall. Then he turned to Shawn. "Let’s go do something special for my birthday."


End file.
